Our pal Sorry I Missed Your Party tipped us to the fact that:
MillerCoors is discontinuing Sparks due to government concerns that it was too popular with teenagers and its energy and booze combination was dangerous…
I guess I understand that it’s important to protect our impressionable youth; they are our future, after all. [But] lets be honest – has anyone ever actually enjoyed a Sparks “responsibly”?
Drinking Sparks created the Fun Dipesque byproduct of an orange tongue. Such markings of use are an advertisers dream. Alas it’s the U21 set who derived the most pleasure from it.
No surprise that the bev was the brainchild of a marketing firm – McKenzie River. These are the same folks who hired rappers in the way back to shill for St. Ides – one of the first marketing moves into the rugged hip-hop space, presaging 50 and Vitamin Water. Impressionable lad that I was, the Crooked I was my first 40.